At least this time I am not a bridesmaid!
One of my good friends from college is getting married in May. It’s been a long time coming! Let me preface this by saying she’s Muslim so I’m not totally up to snuff on proper wedding etiquitte and stuff. I am looking forward to seeing what her wedding is like, and also finally wearing the saree she helped me pick out 6 years ago!
(Man, I am getting OLD!)
Anyway, I know what she wants as a wedding gift because we’re both very frank with each other about these things. We have an understanding. She’s asked me for an HBC gift card and I am happy to oblige.
However, I was just invited by some of her Indian friends to a wedding shower. The thing is, it is a surprise and my friend doesn’t know its going to happen.
This may pique the ire of some people, but I don’t really want to go. I wouldn’t know any of the girls and even though we’re all Canadian and normal blah blah blah there is still a huge and distinct difference between our cultures and I would be totally awkward.
And I also don’t want to fork over more cash (essetially that’s all she wants. She and H2B already have a condo to move into and she’s very particular about her things–she’s not even going to make a registry).
So I’m thinking of bailing. I haven’t RSVP’d yet, but I might tell them that I am still on my Las Vegas trip that day. And if my friend doesn’t know that there even is a shower, it can’t hurt her, right? We’re good friends, but not that good. Know what I mean?
I know there has been a lot of talk in the blogosphere about weddings and etiquitte lately, so I’m hoping some of you lurkers out there can give me your opinions! What would you do in this situation?
7 responses to “Yet Another Wedding…”
I hate all bridal/baby/fourth baby showers. I skip them all, so you’ll get plenty of support from me.
I think bridal showers are very old-fashioned and it’s hard for them not to look like just fishing for presents.
I say if you’re not into it, don’t do it. But I’m not all girly and such, and I don’t know the first thing about wedding etiquette! Like DAMF, I think its ridiculous. As a single woman, I want to have a party and be showered by gifts, but because I’m unsuccessful in love or don’t want to settle for some dud and then get divorced (like so many people I know!), I’m not allowed. Pffff so not fair.
I’m not a big fan of all the money that surrounds wedding, and I’ve even discusses how I think asking for cash for wedding gifts is tacky, although most people disagreed with me, and your situation sounds different (at least you know why she just wants cash). I hate having to put a dollar value on relationships, especially when I have financial goals! I skipped my best friend’s shower because I would have had to miss a few days of work, travel 12 hours, and hang out with a bunch of girls I don’t know. She understood and I definitely made up for it at the wedding. Anyways, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. I don’t know if I’d lie about it in a lie that could be proven though, maybe just give a vague “I have to work” or something excuse. Being busted on that would suck, and she’d be kinda justified in being angry if she found out.
It’s totally up to you but I personally would be intrigued by the different culture part rather than turned off. On the other hand, like Dog I hate those types of events in general. Most of my friends had a couples shower, which was really just a party, no stupid games etc.
It’s really weird because I’m not a “into” weddings at all – I’m not one of those girls who has dreamed about her wedding her whole life or anything – and I’m not really a big fan of babies either – but I LOVE wedding showers and baby showers. Even if I don’t know the person very well, I’m always so excited to attend. I think I just like celebrating change – as long as change isn’t happening to me.
Anyway, if it were me I would go but I know that a lot of people aren’t into “showers” of any kind.
BTW – is your friend Indian? It’s pretty unusual for Indians to be Muslim, so this shower/wedding could be a really fun blend of cultures/religions!
TeacHer: She and I just use the word Indian as a descriptor. We also refer to South Asians, etc. as Brown people. She tells me this is an acceptable and affectionate term!
Her family is actually from parts of Africa, but she doesn’t really call herself African. So I just call her what she tells me to… lol we have an open and weird relationship!
I think her culture is pretty interesting, but a wedding shower such as the one being held is not part of said culture. All the traditional stuff I will be participating in during he wedding week. I think I’ll have plenty of time to immerse myself!
I just don’t want to go to another money-grab event, especially when she really doesn’t need money or anything, and I’m so strapped for cash right now.
I wouldn’t go.
Sounds boring and you can’t afford it.
As for being African that makes more sense. Indian bridal showers are INSANE and you get henna’d..
LOL!
Who’s the opportunist now, FB?
😛