Comments on: How Do You Stay Out of Trouble? http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/2009/08/how-do-you-stay-out-of-trouble/#utm_source=feed&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=feed www.GingerWontSnap.com Mon, 16 Jan 2012 19:10:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Anonymous http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/2009/08/how-do-you-stay-out-of-trouble/comment-page-1/#comment-981 Anonymous Mon, 17 Aug 2009 21:25:59 +0000 http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/?p=300#comment-981 I absolutely hate it when people decide that they want to maintain friendships with people who they know are doing bad things to others. Why would you want to be friends with a guy who does this? Why would you want to be friends with the other woman in this situation? It doesn't make sense to me. Essentially, you're saying that you don't care if your friends don't have integrity and it's fine with you if they're cruel to others.<br /><br />What I would do in this situation is drop the guy and the other woman as friends and tell the common-law wife that she needs to get the hell out, whatever it takes. I think that any other path, I would be complicit in what's happening, and that wouldn't be okay with me. I absolutely hate it when people decide that they want to maintain friendships with people who they know are doing bad things to others. Why would you want to be friends with a guy who does this? Why would you want to be friends with the other woman in this situation? It doesn't make sense to me. Essentially, you're saying that you don't care if your friends don't have integrity and it's fine with you if they're cruel to others.

What I would do in this situation is drop the guy and the other woman as friends and tell the common-law wife that she needs to get the hell out, whatever it takes. I think that any other path, I would be complicit in what's happening, and that wouldn't be okay with me.

]]> By: Arual http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/2009/08/how-do-you-stay-out-of-trouble/comment-page-1/#comment-980 Arual Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:26:00 +0000 http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/?p=300#comment-980 1) I think its hilarious after reading this that under other posts I might like is Craigslist: The Place Where You Can Find Anything. It seems fitting fro the absurdity of this situation<br />2) I say you back away for awhile until they figure this out. This entire situation is pretty convuluted and ugly and no matter what someone is going to get hurt unless they decide they can live together like this for the rest of their lives (*shocked face!*) 1) I think its hilarious after reading this that under other posts I might like is Craigslist: The Place Where You Can Find Anything. It seems fitting fro the absurdity of this situation
2) I say you back away for awhile until they figure this out. This entire situation is pretty convuluted and ugly and no matter what someone is going to get hurt unless they decide they can live together like this for the rest of their lives (*shocked face!*)

]]> By: BigAssSuperstar http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/2009/08/how-do-you-stay-out-of-trouble/comment-page-1/#comment-979 BigAssSuperstar Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:53:06 +0000 http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/?p=300#comment-979 I think it would be honest and genuine to tell them that although they're adults who ultimately get to decide how they live their lives, the situation and potential fallout from it is making you uncomfortable, and you are choosing to set a boundary about discussing it.<br /><br />You're entitled to set the ground rules for your friendship. You can let them know that you're interested in keeping them all as friends, and that even though you're not judging them for what they're doing (even if you are), you're feeling torn about hurting feelings by saying something... so you can choose to detach or set boundaries. Like, I'll hang out with you guys, but if you start getting weird or arguing while I'm around, I may have to leave. Or, we'll still do all our regular friend stuff, but please don't try to talk to me about your Three's Company living arrangement. I think it would be honest and genuine to tell them that although they're adults who ultimately get to decide how they live their lives, the situation and potential fallout from it is making you uncomfortable, and you are choosing to set a boundary about discussing it.

You're entitled to set the ground rules for your friendship. You can let them know that you're interested in keeping them all as friends, and that even though you're not judging them for what they're doing (even if you are), you're feeling torn about hurting feelings by saying something… so you can choose to detach or set boundaries. Like, I'll hang out with you guys, but if you start getting weird or arguing while I'm around, I may have to leave. Or, we'll still do all our regular friend stuff, but please don't try to talk to me about your Three's Company living arrangement.

]]> By: Ginger http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/2009/08/how-do-you-stay-out-of-trouble/comment-page-1/#comment-978 Ginger Mon, 17 Aug 2009 14:11:55 +0000 http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/?p=300#comment-978 I agree--they should not be living together. Without getting into too many details though, that is not an option for them. They're basically poor, with no income so they would not be able to move out independently, and none of them WANT to do that anyway. Frustrating!<br /><br />But yes, I think I may just have to hold my tongue and pretend that everything is ok when I am with them. They are never apart so it is difficult to hang out alone with one of them--they're sort of a packaged deal. (I think that's what's causing their problems, but again--trying not to get involved). I agree–they should not be living together. Without getting into too many details though, that is not an option for them. They're basically poor, with no income so they would not be able to move out independently, and none of them WANT to do that anyway. Frustrating!

But yes, I think I may just have to hold my tongue and pretend that everything is ok when I am with them. They are never apart so it is difficult to hang out alone with one of them–they're sort of a packaged deal. (I think that's what's causing their problems, but again–trying not to get involved).

]]> By: Laura http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/2009/08/how-do-you-stay-out-of-trouble/comment-page-1/#comment-977 Laura Mon, 17 Aug 2009 04:03:11 +0000 http://www.gingerwontsnap.com/?p=300#comment-977 Wow, tough one. If you want to stay friends with all three of them, I think for the time being I would only hang out with each of them one-on-one and let them know you're not taking sides and you want to keep your friendships with all of them. It might be best to draw some boundaries saying you don't want to talk about the love triangle situation because you feel like you're getting caught in the middle and it's making you uncomfortable.<br /><br />If they say they need to vent or they need some advice, then give your advice, but I wouldn't give any advice if it's unsolicited.<br /><br />Probably the obvious solution right now is that the three of them should not all be living together! It's a recipe for disaster if people's feelings are getting hurt. But I wouldn't share that with any of them unless they ask. Wow, tough one. If you want to stay friends with all three of them, I think for the time being I would only hang out with each of them one-on-one and let them know you're not taking sides and you want to keep your friendships with all of them. It might be best to draw some boundaries saying you don't want to talk about the love triangle situation because you feel like you're getting caught in the middle and it's making you uncomfortable.

If they say they need to vent or they need some advice, then give your advice, but I wouldn't give any advice if it's unsolicited.

Probably the obvious solution right now is that the three of them should not all be living together! It's a recipe for disaster if people's feelings are getting hurt. But I wouldn't share that with any of them unless they ask.

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