Category Archives: etiquitte

Would You Lend a Friend Some Money?

There’s a lot of chatter on this subject going on in the blogosphere lately.

So… would you do it?

If a friend or family member asked to borrow some money from you, how would you handle it?

If it was $20? $200? $2000?

My thinking is that it really depends on exactly who you are giving it to.

I have a friend who burns through cash like it’s her job when we go out to drink. We both get drunk and spend more than we should, but I don’t have a family to support and she does. I also have the better job. She asked me for $20 and promised to repay me.

I gave her the cash. But I don’t ever expect it back. Even if she has the intention to give it back, I don’t think she will ever get around to it. So I considered it a gift when I decided to “lend” her that money.

If she were to ask for a more significant amount, I don’t know if I would actually lend it to her, at least without some written promise or something.

With the exception of my immediate family and a few friends, I don’t think I would ever lend out large sums of money. I hope that I never actually DO have to lend out money to my friends… I can get my immediate family to pay it back because we’re all on the same page in terms of money management.

But with friends… it could get tricky. It would ruin the relationship in most cases. One person would always be indebted to the other, even if the money way paid back in a timely fashion. It would be even worse if the money was late coming, requiring prodding and poking and reminders. Or just not getting it back at all.

I try to avoid lending things or money outside of my immediate family; but if I do decide to let someone borrow from me, I only give them what I can afford to lose. And I think that’s key.

How do you feel about the subject?

*sigh* When will the spammers ever learn?

This week I’ve received two emails of a dubious nature, both wanting to do a “link exchange” with me on my site.

I know it’s a scam. They’re not fooling anyone.

How do I know this? Well check out one of the emails below that I just received this morning:

—————————–
from Shelly Brown
to Ginger Corsair
date Thu, Jul 30, 2009 at 3:43 AM
subject Link Exchange Three Way to Optimize site

Hi Sir / Admin
I am Shine, I found your site very informative and valuable while searching through Search Engines..
I would like to become your real link partner so we can do optimization for our sites, which would be beneficial in the long run.
I believe in good quality links and the link should be from the content or article exchange and must be 3 way, this helps to get good value to the site
& trust..

So please let me know, when you will become partners and from when do we start our deal.

Trust me to be your true partner..:)
I will wait for your reply.. ASAP

Its Not a Spam.

—————————-

Well now, despite the mention that “Its Not a Spam” at the bottom, it totally is.

Let me point out the giant FAIL in this email:

  • It was sent at an ungodly hour in the morning
  • I, a FEMALE named Ginger am addressed by Sir/Admin. Duh, anyone that actually visited the site knows that I am female.
  • She wants to do a link exchange but doesn’t provide a link to her site!
  • My site is not informative and valuable. Second way to tell they never even visited the site
  • Random &trust in there… coupled with crappy English & composition tells me this person is not a native English speaker, and is most likely a foreign scammer. Stereotyping? Yes. But I’m also right.
  • Also see: Random Capitalization Of Words
  • They assume right off the bat that we will become partners and start a deal. A deal?! Doing what? You never even included your link!
  • The whole email reads like it was stolen from a “blogging 101” post from somewhere and made to sound as if someone actually wrote it. It makes me giggle.

I suppose I could go on and on about this email and the other one I got, but it’s just too much work. I’m sure all bloggers get crap like this from time to time.

My beef is that these people are just fishing for links. If someone approaches me for a genuine link exchange, I’m totally happy to consider it. But it has to be a good fit and a real person writing to me.

I’ll bet dear old Shelly Brown is a real person… but managed to get her gmail account hacked.

So have you received any ridiculous emails like this lately? Emails that don’t include the link for link exchanges, or that want you to “promote” some retarded product that don’t have any benefit for you? Share your funny scammer email stories with us in the comments!

Pissed and Put-Out

I just had a friend call me at 10pm asking to crash at my place. It seems she was caught in between moving in and out of an apartment. She was going to stay with her sister but her sister cancelled….

Ok I’m really pissed about this and just had a convo with another friend who doesn’t know her. It sums things up pretty well so you’ll have to suffer with a pasted convo:

Friend says:
Hey. How was your day yesterday?
Ginger says:
it was ok
im kind of pissed right now though
a friend just asked to crash at my place
she didn’t have anywhere else to go tonight, so i said yes
F says:
Damn, that sucks
G says:
i told her to get here before 11pm so i could settle her in
and i went and pulled out all the freaking stuff in the guest room, made her bed, etc
and she’s at a club downtown right now.
it was 1030 by this point after i’ve been cleaning very quietly
F says:
Ugh..
G says:
and i txt her asking her to be here soon
and she fuckin’ txts me back saying she can’t leave right now
her party is more important than a place to stay tonight!?!?!?
so she basically says she won’t be coming anymore
so pissed. i am so put out right now. i went to all that trouble at the last minute for her
and now she’s not even coming. what am i, a hotel?
i really don’t mind helping people out, but fucking follow through, eh?
F says:
I don’t blame you one bit
G says:
i just can’t believe she would ask me a big favour like that and then make me go to the trouble, then not even come!
seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!eleventyone!11!!!!
F says:
So beat her with a nerf bat when you see her next
G says:
urgh
seriously, i don’t mind helping but i HATE being taken advantage of
F says:
That’s because you’re so awesome. So when you’re put out like this, you get super pissed
G says:
yeah no kidding.
i used to be such a doormat. i believe in helping others, but sometimes it makes it worse for me
now she’s changed her mind and has said she’ll come and is offering to make me breakfast
i’m not even here for breakfast
*big sigh*
i don’t know what to do
—————–

Still upset. She keeps waffling back and forth about coming, and it seems to me her glass of wine is more important than her friend that just went the extra mile for her benefit. I’m not letting her come over now.

What I really want to do later is call her and yell at her a little. Tell her that I feel really taken advantage of by her and that she needs to shape up or ship out. I like her and don’t mind helping her, but there has to be some gratitude and respect in there somewhere, and I ain’t feelin’ it.

Am I being unreasonable? Flame away, my friends, flame away.

Tis the Season

Well, it’s been a while since I updated, so I suppose I owe all of you some posts!

I’m hoping that by starting to write this I’ll be inspired to continue writing, and give you a review of the Lancome Oscillation mascara I’ve been trying out, as well as the Ketel One vodka tasting event I went to.

Things have been simultaneously busy and blah lately. I’ve entered the winter doldrums and it sucks. I’m trying to stay happy about my upcoming holiday party next weekend, as well as my trip to Cuba over xmas.

I really should start packing for that trip. We leave in just over 2 weeks and there’s a bunch of little stuff I need to track down, it’s been almost 2 years since I last travelled so all my bits n bites of travel paraphenalia have spread themselves out.

Man, 2 years. That is far too long! But the way money is for me these days, I guess it’s a decent amount of time. I can’t really afford to travel every year since saving money goes at a snail’s pace.

But first things first, and that would be my holiday party. I really hope it goes over well, but I’m trying not to set my hopes or expectations too high, since they have a habit of being crushed by uncouth humanity. It was like pulling teeth to even get people to RSVP. Now my challenge is getting them to dress appropriately and bring a potluck dish *sigh*

I feel a rant coming on, but I’m going to try and avoid it. I get frustrated with people who are just SO casual. They might show up, they might not. They can’t be bothered to RSVP or even take a special event seriously. If you’re invited to someone’s home to celebrate the season with them, you should feel honoured to do so!

Especially after I’ve done all this work. I’m trying not to spend too much money though. The worst is when in the past, I have gone out and bought a ton of stuff (food, plastic cups, decorations, etc.) and then everyone decides they can’t make it to my party. Even though I scheduled it far enough in advance. I hate people sometimes, and I can’t figure out why I am so driven to host parties and get-togethers. I love doing all the planning and even some of the work, but I always end up disappointed because most people are douche bags that don’t understand etiquette or decorum.

I just really hope that this party is a nice one. I finally have a few friends that I can rely on, and I suppose that as long as they show up then I don’t care who else comes. I really just want to celebrate with people who care about me, anyway. Screw the other fairweather friends.

Ok, now I’m going to try and switch to some positive thinking. I got some really cool lights for outside on our balcony. My landlady doesn’t do any kind of decorating ever–so our place (giant Victorian house split into apartments) always looks gloomy, dark and foreboding. Since the house is so old, there is neither a porch light nor an electrical outlet on my balcony, so I can’t plug anything in.

Thank goodness for Noma and Canadian Tire! I bought the new solar-powered LED lights and they’re so cool! The lights are hooked up to a little solar panel that you leave outside, and when night falls, they automatically turn on. No electricity required! I think it is such a nifty product. Now I not only have a little bit of light on the porch, but also Christmas lights! *squee!*

Oh. I just totally read all the negative reviews on these. They are a little dull, but they’re better than nothing. I’ll have to see how long they last tonight…

GWS Readers: Help me with this wedding crap!

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been feeling a little stressed about my friend T’s wedding and related activities. Money has been tight with me lately and now I’ve got to get my eyes zapped again in the middle of the month (more on that later) and she has just told me of another cost I’m going to have to incur for her wedding (All wedding party members must supply a gift for the raffle/door prizes at the stag & doe).

I’m feeling overwhelmed and snappy, so I think I need to sit back and crunch some numbers to see what the revised costs of this wedding fiasco are. I feel as though it’s getting too expensive for me… I want to be the good friend that doesn’t let her down, that goes the extra mile, but I’m becoming frustrated because I’m expected to pay for all this stuff that I don’t feel I should have to pay for. My parents have also pointed out the following:

“You’re doing all this stuff and spending all this time and money on her, stretching yourself thin. Plus you have to travel so far to do all this. Do you really think she would do the same for you? Do you think she would run around to 3 wedding showers, spend all that money on a bachelorette and still go to a stag & doe and spend money while also donating a gift? I don’t think so.”

That was from my mom. Yes, I consider T my best friend and I want to do right by her, but my mom has an excellent point. I have a tendency to go the extra mile for people, but then it is never, ever reciprocated to me, and I end up getting hurt. I do all these nice things for other people, and therefore have higher expectations of my friends and family. If I do it, why can’t they?

But as I’ve learned time and time again, most people are just not as considerate as me. This makes me bitter, angry and sad. I know T has done some really nice things for me in the past and will probably continue to do so in the future; but if I’ve learned anything it’s that you can’t count on anyone for anything.

Which is why I am currently feeling this way about the wedding. She’s asking a lot of me and I don’t think it would ever be reciprocated to me.

Now I want to talk about the events and what is “expected of me” versus what I think I’m actually going to do.

Bridal shower
Expected: To show up to the 2 of them this weekend with a gift. Probably also to go out to dinner and/or shopping with T (something I usually enjoy but can’t afford right now). Or, sit around while I wait for the stupid things to be over. I don’t really want to go to them, I’m sure I’ll be bored stiff. I will also feel awkward because I’m sort of the odd one out… it’s T’s family and local friends who all know each other and I’m the outsider.

What I will do: I’ll go, but I’m only bringing one gift, and will bring my Jenny food to eat. I won’t be able to go shopping or pay for anything additional for T. It’s still going to cost me to travel though.

Gift: $45
Travel: $50
Incidentals: $25
Total: $120

Stag & Doe
Expected: To pay for a ticket, then pay for a lot of drinks to help them raise money. Also to pay for a gift to be raffled off. I hate the idea of a stag & doe, it just a money grab and I find it offensive. If you can’t pay for your wedding, then make it smaller! They invite everyone, literally. Even if you’re not invited to the wedding you’re invited to the stag & doe. Ugh. Apparently this is a common thing with small town folk though, so I’ll have to go along with it. I still don’t like it and it just means more money flowing from my pockets.

What I will do: I’m not going to buy a ticket. And I’m not going to buy any drinks that night either. I either won’t drink, or will mooch off the boys at the party. I’ve bought a $15 item to be raffled off, and that’s all I’m going to contribute, other than my time and effort. I will also bring my Jenny food. I’m still considering whether to even go or not. My mom thinks I should make an excuse not to go

Raffle prize: $15
Travel: $50
Incidentals: $40
Total: $105

Wedding
Expected: To give a nice gift, be a bridesmaid. Also to pay for my dress, shoes, hair, makeup, nails and pedicure, as well as travel expenses, possibly including a cab ride from the middle of nowhere (expensive!).

What I will do: I’m making a special gift for T that will probably cost me around $80 to do. I figure that’s an adequate gift, and will have meaning for her. I will do the bridesmaid thing, but hopefully will be able to carpool with M on the way down to save on gas. I’ll also be staying with her at her mom’s so I don’t need a hotel room. As for hair, I’ll have to pay to get that done because I suck at it. Nails, too. Pedicure I will do myself if I have to, and makeup as well. Though the makeup will probably be done by a Mary Kay girl… but if she’s not as good as me then I will do it. I’m also going to try my darndest not to have to pay for a cab ride anywhere. Out in the boonies it is sure to be expensive.

Gift: $80
Travel: $50
Dress: $300
Shoes: $100
Hair: $60
Nails/Feet: $45
Makeup: $12
Incidentals: $50
Cash bar: $45
Total: $742

Bachelorette is done, it cost me about $150.

Wedding Fiasco Grand Total: $1,117

*sigh* That sucks. I was hoping to cut costs even more, but I’ve done most of what I can. I don’t know whether it’s worth mentioning this to T. On one hand, I don’t think she realizes how much her wedding is costing the rest of us. On the other hand, I don’t want to stress her out or piss her off either. I really wish she knew how much this was costing us so that we could all work together on reducing costs.

If you have been a bridesmaid before (or even a bride!), how much did you spend on the whole wedding dealy-o? What do you suppose is a reasonable amount? Am I right on track, spending more or less than what it probably should be?

What would you do?

Submit Your Blog for Link Love

Hey folks,

Taking the cue from my presentation on the Blogosphere and Netiquitte, I think I’m going to start doing some Link Love posts in here.

Problem is, I don’t really know a lot of blogs! I’m looking to expand my reading and find some more blogs of interest.

If you’d like to be featured in my upcoming Link Love posts, or if you know a great blog that should be, Please drop me a line at gingercorsair @ gmail.com with the name of your blog, direct link, description, and a category or topic you think you fit into.

Thanks guys, I think this will be a great resource for all of us!

A Beautiful Day!

Ahhh, today Toronto is blessed with some sunshine! It makes me happy! It seems we are indeed slowly inching our way to spring… however the wind is a bitch! It was quite fridgid as I was walking this afternoon.

Anyway, today was kind of odd. Last night M and I went out to an Edge 102.1 event at The Great Hall. Jameson Irish Whiskey was hosting the party with some live bands, and I sure do love a fine splash of Jameson, so I rustled up some tickets. I thought it would be a good way to bond with M since we have a lot to do for T’s wedding.

We had a good night dancing and listening to one of the bands, and we hung out with some of my friends from work. (And both of us had guys trying to pick us up throughout the night, which I got a kick out of–I was surprised that anyone was interested in me since I wasn’t really dressed up. However, I was wearing my super-cool Chairman Meow shirt. Hmmm….)

We got back to my place around 2:30am, so M spent the night. All was well in the land of Ginger. However, this morning I woke up to find no M! She had split before 9am to get back to her place in Newmarket, with no note or knock on my door. Strange! I was totally at a loss as to where she went, I swear to dog it looked like she hadn’t even been here last night… I called her frantically and left a message asking where she was. Later on I found an email from her saying she had a great time and just had a lot of things to do today.

Now, am I old-fashioned in thinking that was still pretty bizarre and rude? I mean, I went out and bought some milk just so she could have breakfast in the morning. Hrumph. I am still feeling a little bewildered.

She’s a nice girl, but that was just… odd.

What do you think?