Crest Pro-Health Toothpaste (in any variation)

Now, in my books, any toothpaste is a good toothpaste. Years of working at a dental office and being curious have taught me loads about dental care and health and how frickin’ easy it is to keep your mouth healthy.

It’s actually the brushing and rinsing action that does the bulk of the cleaning when you do your teeth, but having a nice toothpaste helps by adding fluoride, facilitating the cleaning action and helping to protect your teeth against sensitivity and other nasties (that’s the unscientific explanation, yo).

This particular toothpaste has a slew of benefits (which are all available in other products too, fyi) but what I really like about it is the grit that is included in the paste.

It’s kind of weird and gross at first… it feels a lot like the polishing paste dentists use on you at your visit. But it sure does get your teeth clean! And I was surprised to find that even after regular use, the grit did not further irritate my sensitive teeth. In fact my sensitivity has decreased since using it.

The reason I have decided to continue purchasing this particular toothpaste is because of the results it gave me (when combined with regular dental care).

For my last two dental appointments, the hygienists said they had nothing to do. Meaning that there was almost no plaque build-up on my teeth and that everything was hunky-dory. The dentist agreed, and asked me what I had been doing.

“I just brush and floss regularly!” I said.

This speaks volumes in favour of this toothpaste. It was the only thing that had changed in my routine and suddenly I was seeing amazing results.

Here’s a recap of the benefits I experienced:

• Really nice, clean feeling after brushing
• Reduced plaque build-up (which meant no cavities or gingivitis)
• Reduced tooth sensitivity
• Whiter teeth
• Dentist charging me $200 for a tooth-cleaning I didn’t need oh whoops, I guess that’s not a benefit!
• Knowing that including this in my regular routine will allow me to increase the time between dentist visits (only do this with blessings from your dentist, everyone needs a different level of care)

Ginger’s Dental Advice

I’m not a dental professional, but here are some uber-simple things that you can do to keep your mouth healthy, and why you should do those things.

Brush in the morning AND at night

Everyone knows it’s good to brush in the morning to get rid of dragon’s breath. But did you know it’s almost more important to brush at night?

At night, your mouth turns into a pit of despair filled with acids and bacteria that are up to no good. If you sleep with your mouth open, these acids and bacteria dry out and stick to your teeth like glue which can cause cavities, inflammation (gingivitis) and more.

If you clean your mouth out before bed you’re not giving the nasties a chance to accumulate and sit around your teeth for as long. You’ll still wake up with rank breath, but hopefully one less cavity or soft spot.

Mouthwashes give a little extra oompf but are optional

That covers it…

Floss regularly, too

No matter how awesome your toothbrush is, nor how vigorously you swish that mouthwash, you’re not going to dislodge the ick from the nooks and crannies of your teeth.

This is where flossing comes in. By flossing regularly, you’re able to clean between the teeth and below the gum line (where grossness likes to lurk the most!) and scrape out the garbage that hangs out there. And maybe dislodge that popcorn seed shell that’s been stuck in your molar since last Friday.

“Oh Ginger!” you whine, “It hurts when I floss and my gums bleed! I don’t wanna…” To this I say: Suck it up, buttercup. Your teeth and gums hurt and bleed because you’re not flossing! Deal with it for a few days and the swelling will go down and it will become easier to floss. Trust me, I started out the same way.

The dentist always used to tell me I needed to floss more, but I just sort of shrugged it off. But once I started it I noticed what a difference it really made! I had no idea that such a small step could not only improve my dental health so much, but also save me money!

Benefits of Good Dental Health

I think you all vaguely know that having healthy teeth is good. But WHY is it so important?

Health!

Duh. Less cavities, less tooth sensitivity, blah blah blah. But did you know that the human mouth is dirtier than a dog’s? And did you know that the teeth are the only hard bodily substance (aka BONES) that stick outside of your flesh? This means they have a direct route into the body from the outside world. If you don’t take care of your mouth you are asking for health troubles.

Poor dental health can lead to all kinds of diseases including cancers and periodontal disease. It’s not just about losing your teeth anymore–you can lose your life.

Looks

It pays to take care of your teeth. Fresher breath, naturally white teeth, no signs of decay. Tell me you don’t look for that when you go to kiss someone! Disgusting teeth are a huge turnoff for me.

Money

By performing everyday maintenance of your teeth (brushing & flossing) you can prevent SO MUCH damage!

Here are some observations from when I worked at a dental office.

People would come in and be flabbergasted by the amount of additional work they would need to get done (after not coming in for 5 years or more!) and would wonder why they have such high dental bills for all this work.

I’ll tell you why.

I don’t care if you don’t have the money or are afraid of the dentist. You’re probably afraid because its always painful and costs a lot, yeah? Well it’s because you don’t take care of your teeth! If you just brushed and flossed regularly, going to the dentist would be a hell of a lot cheaper and comfortable! Buying floss, a brush and toothpaste costs less than $10 and is something everyone can afford.

If you have a good dental regimen, you don’t have to worry about getting root canals, crowns, extreme scaling, additional fluoride or polishing treatments. Your cleaning appointments can be scaled back so you don’t come in as often.

Crowns cost upwards of $1000, and root canals are pricey, too. No one wants to get them done, but they don’t bother taking preventative measures either. Personal beef of mine.

It’s so easy to avoid painful and expensive dental treatments, my friends.

Just take care of your mouth!

I have some crazy memories from the dental office… we would have file photos of some really awful teeth (nightmares, really) and every time I skipped brushing one of those scary images would flash through my head.

So anyway, brush, floss and see your dentist regularly! Or you may end up with a mouth like this:

This is actually meth mouth, but shows you what can happen! This person was at risk for cancer

LYSOL® Healthy Touch® No-Touch™ Hand Soap System

So what’s my beef with something that is supposed to help you maintain clean and healthy hands?

It’s simple: Redundancy.

You just don’t NEED this product.

The Lysol marketing pitch is that this product:

• Automatically senses your hands
• Dispenses the perfect amount of soap
• Provides antibacterial protection!!!!eleventyonee111!!

So that “you and your family will never have to touch a germy soap pump again.”

Pshaw. This is ridiculous.

First of all, the damn system takes FOUR AA batteries. They’re hard to install (yes, I actually set this stupid thing up and used it) and the sensor is a piece of crap. It’s really not as user-friendly as they claim. Multiple times I tried to get it to work, and when it finally did, it really wasn’t as cool as I thought it would be.

Second, it dispenses WAY TOO MUCH SOAP into your hands! So much was wasted down the drain, I felt guilty for trying to be clean! We’re talking gobs here, people. And there was no way to adjust how much was dispensed. We went through the soap refill container lickety-split, when normally a container of that size would last much longer. This wastage is not only bad for your wallet, but doubly-bad for the environment. The packaging was also way more than was necessary.

Third, it’s antibacterial soap. Unless you work in a hospital or doctor’s office there is NO NEED for antibacterial products. Proper hand washing with soap and warm water completes the job just as well without the harmful effects of triclosan and other antibacterial chemicals on your body and the environment. Read about the problems with antibacterial products/additives here.

Finally, it doesn’t matter if the damn soap dispenser is dirty! You’re going to be washing your hands anyway! Holy fear-mongering, Batman!

Overall I am disgusted by this money-grab of a product. They’re washing it with feel-good messages about protecting your family’s health, when it is anything but.

Expensive, hard to set up, redundant, requires batteries, extra soap refills, bad for the body and environment and overly wasteful in design, function and packaging!

This is one fancy gadget we ought to avoid.

/end rant

It’s going a lot slower than I thought it would, and I’m not sure whether this is good or bad. Usually slower weight loss means it will not be gained back, but on the other hand, I feel like I’m failing as I do it.

I just had a call with my dietitian and funny enough he was encouraging me to eat MORE… more of everything! Always! Anything! He even said pizza or a cheeseburger! It seems that some of my problems can be attributed to under-eating of all things. Go figure!

My other vice is that I’ve been drinking with meals which is a huge no-no for this type of thing. Reason being that when you drink and eat, the food gets washed through your system much faster. The point of the band is to hold food in your stomach longer so you feel less hungry. If you drink and wash the food down, it won’t stick around to give you that feeling!

But it’s a seriously hard habit to break, I LOVE drinking with my food, it makes me so thirsty!

But yeah, adjusting to the new eating patterns and habits is giving me a lot of trouble. I’m not eating enough, and when I do, I have been choosing a lot of the wrong things. I put it down to bad willpower and also a lack of time and planning.

On the plus side of things, my clothes are fitting me a lot better. One pair of my jeans is actually too big for me now! And one of my winter jackets that was just a little too tight before now fits me well.

My face has thinned out and my skin is really soft.

And… I don’t know if this is real or just wishful thinking, but my tits are looking awesome! I think losing some of the flab under my arms has given them some more definition or something! Fingers crossed that they don’t shrink as the rest of me shrinks…

Dear Ginger,

I came across your blog and saw that you had the Slimband surgery a few weeks ago. I am considering it too but trying to get as much info as possible. Would you mind sharing some of your thoughts with me? I’m in Toronto and was considering the actual Slimband clinic as opposed to other lapband places. What’s your experience with them been like? Are you satisfied?
If you also don’t mind me asking, are you able to eat better now? Just less of everything?
I’m desperate for a solution but if it’s going to involve me being super strict and “sticking to it” (it being anything) I don’t see a point because if I had the self control I wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place..lol

Thanks for any advice you can offer
Cheers,
N.B.

Hi N.B.,

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog! I hope you have enjoyed reading it

I’ll do my best to answer your question here, but if I miss anything I’ll be doing periodic posts about my surgery & experiences on the blog (I’ve just been busy recovering lately!)

The first thing I want to say is that you should really do your research and go with a clinic that not only offers the best service and technology, but one that you feel comfortable with. This is a huge thing to go through and you want everything to go as smooth as possible. I’ll tell you my experiences with Slimband but I encourage you to check out other places as well, every person is different.

What I found is that they all offer roughly the same services for the same cost ($16,000). You want to have someplace that has a good follow-up program with dieticians, communities, and free fills for life. The market is competitive so I think most places offer the same stuff.

Essentially I chose Slimband because I felt that the actual band was superior in construction, the location was more convenient for me and I got a chance to talk with Niki as my consultant. Niki is the lady you see in all the ads everywhere. I also felt that the clinic might be the right choice because they are able to afford the giant ad campaign. I work in advertising so I know that it is not cheap!

Slimband also had Dr. Yau, who has performed over 5000 of these surgeries. I wanted someone competent to do my surgery. Unfortunately I didn’t end up getting him that day, but the other surgeon spoke with me, answered my questions and in the end, he did a good job.

I’m mostly satisfied with the service so far. There were a few issues with payment and my questions not being addressed properly before surgery, so I would just hound them for the answers. In the end most things got sorted out. I think that no matter how much reading material and stuff they give you, there may always be surprises along the way with this type of surgery.

Anyway, at this point I am now able to eat “real food” once again. I’m Sooooo excited. So far I’ve been able to eat what I want, just less of it. You also have to change the order you eat food so that you eat the protein first, then veg, then carbs. But it’s not really hard. You also can’t drink when you eat—just ask them why when you go for your consultation.

I’m not going to lie, the pre-op diet and then having only liquids for 3 weeks after the surgery was torture. I missed food like crazy and got sick of having nothing but soup! But that’s going to happen no matter what—it IS surgery after all! I feel like I am recovering pretty well, though my weight loss is quite slow compared to some other people. So far I am down 7lbs, but hopefully once I start eating & exercising properly again more will come off.

I, too was desperate for a solution. I’ve done all the diets in the past and exercised quite vigorously with limited results. Shortly after beginning something I’d give it up—usually because the diet was unrealistic, anyway!

With Slimband I am hoping that I can just use it as a tool to help create a new lifestyle for me, rather than a diet. Even before the surgery I was trying to eat less and better quality foods in general. I felt like all the processed crap was just too gross (though I still eat some of it, of course!)

I just had my first meeting with the dietitian last night and he confirmed that I can live life pretty normal, even drinking wine and taking shots and eating cake! The key is moderation, and trying to eat properly the rest of the time. Obviously it’s a big life adjustment, but I think/hope that it will work. It’s not like I have any other options!

Well, that’s all I’ve got for right now. I just started eating food so we’ll see how that goes. Feel free to ask more questions here, or even on the blog! I think I may post your question (anonymously) and my answer… a lot of folks have been asking the same thing.

I hope this helps, and let me know what you decide to do!

-G

Dear Body:

You are incredible, and I am so amazed by you!

We had surgery just over a week ago. You were cut open, had organs shoved around, implants put in and incisions sutured. After that you were bombarded with drugs and had nothing but liquids for sustenance. What a trial to go through!

But today, today you amazed me! Actually, every day since surgery you have amazed me. We recovered so quickly, I am astounded.

Today I took the steri-strips off the incision sites expecting to see some sad looking stitched up scabby things. Lo and behold I have only small little marks where the skin was cut open! Nothing gross or heinous, no mottled bruises or anything!

I feel like a stronger version of my old self. Every day we get a little bit better, with more stamina and endurance. The pain is ebbing, systems are returning to normal functions and we can finally sleep in comfortable positions again!

You are so incredible, and you deserve a reward.

The reward is my undying love for you.

I love you body, and I am so proud that we got through this together. You are healing so fast I can hardly believe it. I am so thankful for your amazing abilities.

Thank you for being my amazing body, and I look forward to many more healthy years with you!

Love & kisses,

Ginger

Heaven.

I don’t think it has anything to do with the brand or even the flavor, but more that I haven’t been able to drink coffee, caffeine or anything with milk in it since my surgery, and it has been hard indeed!

I always enjoy my morning coffee, the taste, the mouth feel and the comforting ritual and warmth. I don’t need something fancy, just a regular cuppa joe will do me fine.

But what I really wanted to talk about today was my recover so far.

Two Surgeries

It’s been tougher than I imagined, but probably not the worst ever. It’s been a little more complicated since I got basically two surgeries for the price of one: the Slimband insertion as well as a hernia operation.

Regarding the hernia: During the operation the surgeon found a hiatal hernia and had to correct it before he could place the Slimband on my upper stomach. According to MedicineNet.com: A hiatal hernia is an anatomical abnormality in which part of the stomach protrudes through the diaphragm and up into the chest.

On the 30^th I went into Slimband’s Toronto clinic to have my operation. My mom tagged along and was there to help me before and after. They took some before photos and my weight, etc. so we would have a record of my progress.

After the surgery I went home to recover. Thankfully my family was very accommodating and put up with my sour mood—I was in a lot of pain and discomfort from the gas they pumped into my abdomen and it sure made me snappy!

That day was pretty rough. I slept most of the time and was hopped up on painkillers the rest of it. It was not a pretty sight. I could only have tiny sips of water that day, too.

The following 4-5 days I improved rapidly. While I understand the importance of the post-op diet, it sucked! I could only have clear liquids which meant that I was restricted to exactly: water, clear juice, jello, clear broth, herbal tea. Nothing else. Believe me, it got boring super-fast.

I suppose I have been recovering well all things considered, but it has been really tough on me. I am impatient to get on with my life and don’t enjoy all the restrictions that are currently in my life. Of course I am following and respecting doctor’s orders…but it doesn’t mean I have to like it!

Limitations

I can’t carry anything heavy, or even bend over. If something falls on the floor it either stays there or I need someone else to get it… so my apartment is looking rather dumpy this week! It has been hard being so helpless… definitely not my natural state. My poor father had to put my socks on for me, by golly!

Due to the hernia sutures, I have been having a lot of difficulty breathing. The first 2 days I could barely talk, walk or anything as my breathing capacity was greatly reduced. It is getting better but I still have trouble catching my breath after movement of some kind. I also have general abdominal and chest pain to deal with as everything heals.

I tire easily (not enough sustenance from the liquid diet. I am losing weight but also my stamina!) and can’t burp! Oh man that is the worst so far! As I sip my drinks I am taking in too much air. A normal person would just burp it out, but my stomach opening is swollen and can’t let the gas through. Now every time I need to burp it presses up against my band and it hurts like crazy before subsiding. Then… well… let’s just say it needs to find another way out!

Speaking of which, my bathroom habits have been nuts. Due to the general pain and discomfort I’ve been in this past week, I haven’t been able to tell when I had to go pee, which is a weird thing indeed. I spent most of my time outside of bed and the La-z-boy on the toilet. Not to mention that I had some diarrhea that also kept me running… (sorry, TMI moment). This all added to my troubles as my mobility has been severely limited. *sigh*

Back to the coffee

Anyway, I am super happy to be on the next phase of recovery. Some of the pain and swelling has subsided, I have lost some weight and can now finally eat things that are closer to real food. Yay! This has helped with the digestion issues and a plethora of other things. I feel more human now.

But after a week of clear liquids only, limited movement, pain and embarrassing TMI moments you can see why I am so happy to have a coffee!

I am really looking forward to eating real food again and not having to deal with pain and discomfort. I know it’s only temporary and I am trying to keep my eye on the prize.

I’m not going to bother listing anything I received this year–most of my “gift” was $3000 my parents gave me towards my surgery. Speaking of which, I’m going under the knife this Thursday, so I may be out of commission for a while!

I’ve been trying my best not to think of it, especially with the holidays and everything going on. I’m definitely nervous and not looking forward to the recovery process, but I hope it works out.

I definitely still want it–I had the misfortune of seeing some photos of me from the past week, and I am a freaking WHALE. I didn’t realize it was getting so bad… so I’m really glad I’m going through with this. I like to fantasize about what it will be like to be a reasonable size and attractive in a few months.

As a follow up, a lot of you were curious to find out how I am paying for all this.

Well, I managed to jump on a December promotion and get the price down to $15k overall. $3000 was gifted to me by my parents, $350 from my grandpa, $100 from my brother and $6600 was loaned to me (with no interest but I have to pay it back over the next 8 months) by my granny. The remainder I used from my savings.

I also got a $500 Christmas bonus from work, so that will certainly help me keep my cash flow for the next few months.

I have to pay back my granny $825 per month for the next 8 months. My roommate will also be moving out in the spring (a mixed blessing) and I’ll have to pick up the extra half of the rent, too. It’s going to be tight for a while! But I’ll keep doing the Airbnb bookings and once the roomie is gone I’ll be able to book as many as I want and keep all the profit.

This morning we got several chocolate deliveries as well as a large box of mini gourmet cupcakes from some fancy shop.

Pure torture.

At least I’m not alone in this, after death by chocolate (a whole afternoon sampling the entire menu at MoRoCo in Yorkville thanks to work!) on Friday, me and several of the other girls are on detox and other diets. But the temptation is still there… and so easy to fall prey to!

Only one of us was able to abstain from the adorable mini cupcakes (hint, it wasn’t me).

I really need to do better with this diet though, because it directly impacts my surgery. I am hoping that the first day is the hardest and subsequent days will become easier.

The detox diet I am doing is to help reduce the fat around my liver. The smaller my liver is, the less the surgeon has to root around in my innards to install the Slimband. My diet is full of veggies and spinach, and a little low-fat dairy and protein. I’m able to sub in protein/meal replacement shakes at any point, so I picked up some Slimfast to help me out.

I wish there was a better time to do this… The Holidays were definitely NOT my first choice! But I’ll work with what I’ve got; at least it should be pretty quiet and easy up until Christmas Eve (my family is doing a big gathering up north). I’ll have to deal with that when it comes.

Does anyone know how I can spice up spinach salads, low fat cheese, yogurt and chicken breast? What about canned tuna?

It’s day 3 overall and I’m already running out of ideas!!!

But I need to write it anyway.

Secretly, I was counting on my grandad to come through with all or most of the money for my Slimband surgery. My mom (who knows him best) was convinced that he would be generous; he’s old, has no other family has loads of money and doesn’t do anything with it. He was there at my birth.

Generous is not a word I would use to describe my grandad at this point.

I don’t know what happened. My mom and I thought that he would give at least $1000 to help me out (if not more!). His daughter was a 500lb obese woman who recently passed away. He knows what it’s like to see someone suffer due to their weight.

Instead, I got $350 from him.

My parents didn’t even call to tell me because they didn’t know how to process this. We’re stunned.

I mean, don’t get me wrong; I respect the fact that it is his money and his choice, and I am grateful for anything that he is willing to give me… but at the same time I’m just stunned that the amount is so low, when he has so many reasons to give more. I can’t fathom his reasoning. Personally I suppose I am more of the helping-mind, I am always trying to help others, make or give them things. Especially family, I would go to the ends of the world for them. If this were me, I would have given a substantial amount to my family member.

I’m so conflicted. I’m happy for the $350 but not, you know what I mean? I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I was just really expecting more (whether that was right or wrong to do so). $350 isn’t even a drop in the bucket when I’m looking at $16,000.

So now I’ve got to find another way to pay for this procedure. I’ve already made a $3000 non-refundable deposit so I’m committed now.

I think I can afford another $3000, and in light of the grandad situation, my parents have decided to give me $3000 also. So I only need about $6600 more to cover it all.

I have the option of borrowing from my granny, but (what is up with rich old people? Are they all miserly like my family?!?!) I would have to pay her interest. Can you believe that?

So now I’m off trying to research interest rates for personal loans. I’ll take that info and negotiate with my grandmother and try and get a better rate. Like a bank. Not like family.

How sad, and cold.

I seriously think my larger family is fucked up when it comes to money. We know a lot about it but our attitudes are bizarre; where is the balanced, happy medium in life???

In the coming year I’ll be completing the final step in my journey of self-improvement and I’ll finally know what “the ultimate me” will look like.

For the past 10 years or so, I have been undergoing some changes, both physical and mental. I was a real ugly duckling and filled with self-hate. Through the process of fixing my outside, I have been repairing my insides, as well. Hopefully by the end of it I will look like the beautiful swan I feel like inside.

There are several major (to me) items on my “list” to make improvements to, which I have touched on in previous posts (click here )  and I think it’s time to update them.

Ten years ago, I was:

• Snaggle-toothed
• had terrible hair
• a sloppy dresser
• had awful skin
• bespectacled
• had a whiny voice
• FAT

Being afflicted in those ways cost me a great deal in terms of self esteem, and probably in other ways I haven’t even discovered yet.

I wasn’t happy. So I did something about it.

• I had braces & orthodontic work. Now I’ve got a killer smile
• I grew out my hair & learned basic hair care techniques and styles. My hair is one of my best features now
• I learned about fashion, style and makeup application. People come to me for tips and advice and I model for photographers
• I took Accutane and finally cleared my skin up to an acceptable level
• I had laser eye surgery twice to get rid of the glasses. I’m now 20/20
• I took voice lessons, sang in choirs & recorded CD’s, giving me a smoother and more evenly pitched voice. Apparently people like to listen to me speak now

And Now

I’m finally tackling the last item on my list. The fat.

How?

Weight loss surgery.

Yup, I said it. I’ve come to terms with my fatness and feel like I’m finally ready for a permanent lifestyle change. Diets don’t work (we all know this) and I’ve just got too much fat to lose to spend all my time counting calories.

I’ve done a TON of research and have decided to get the Slimband procedure done over Christmas. It’s not a miracle solution, but it will be an incredibly valuable tool for me to have.

The band will be wrapped around the top of my stomach, making me feel full a lot faster. This will help me eat less and eventually become satisfied with eating less. In addition, there is a 4-year period of support from the clinic, I’ll be working with professionals to help me deal with my emotional issues surrounding food, learn about proper nutrition and fitness, and basically learn how to eat again, the right way this time.

I chose this form of surgery because it is less invasive, more gradual, adjustable, reversible and I can still keep my band and have a healthy pregnancy in the future. My mom had a gastric bypass years ago and not only is she unable to support a pregnancy, but she also can’t absorb nutrients properly, will be on supplements her whole life and had her stomach butchered. Oh, did I mention she gained back all the weight she lost just a few years later? I don’t want any of that.

You’re Giving Up!

Some of you may think that I’m giving up, taking the easy way out, whatever. But 1. I don’t care what you think, and 2. This isn’t the easy way out. This is my choice after numerous diets and exercise regimes since I was a child. What kind of life is that to live?

This will be difficult, I have to learn a whole new way of approaching food. My body is going to undergo some drastic changes. In a year I’ll be losing around 100lbs. I’ve never been thin before, so I don’t know how I’m going to react to my dropping dress size. So many things are going to change in my life.

For the better, I hope.

A Fat-Free Life

In my ideal fat-free world, more people will smile at me instead of frown as I walk by. I’ll be able to buy the clothes and shoes that I really want, and not be stranded when my bag is lost on a flight. People won’t make fun of me, make snide comments under their breath or even out loud about the way I look. I’ll be able to fit on all the rides in Wonderland! I will be judged less harshly.

Most importantly, I’ll be doing a great service to my mental and physical health. I will be reducing my risk for diabetes, high blood pressure, arthritis and heart disease. My knees won’t hurt as much and I’ll be able to run and swim and fight like I have always wanted to. Being lighter and healthier will help my state of mind, help heal my depression and wounded soul and attract more people to me.

It has taken me a long time and a lot of soul-searching to come to this point. Taking part in fat-friendly communities and blogs has been a real help, and it feels weird to know that in a few years I won’t even qualify to take part in these sites anymore. They were key to helping me accept myself as I was, learning to love myself and be proud of who I am.

I think loving myself more was needed before I could make a life-altering change like this and have it stick.

I wasn’t ready before, but I’m ready now.