He’s just not that into me?

We all know that I don’t really have much romance going on in my life, but lately it’s been a bit interesting. Allow me to regale you with some tales…

Bachelor #1

My bff is so desperate to see me go on a date that she tried to set me up with a guy at her job. Ok, I go along with it. It would be a good “practice date”.

He sends me some bizarre emails after creeping me on facebook, but never calls me even after she gives him my number. Ok… weird. I don’t really care much since I wasn’t really into him, I’m mostly just trying to push my personal boundaries these days and this would have been a good exercise.

It’s a good thing I never did go out with him! My bff tells me over drinks later that he was already engaged to another girl! Sheesh! Who does that??? I feel so bad for the girl he is going to marry :(

Bachelor #2

Ok, this is one that I’m still not sure about. Opinions requested! (some of you may remember my Mr. Darcy, this feels sort of similar… hmmm…)

“Wolf” is a sales rep that I work with. I am one of his clients. A couple weeks ago he took me for lunch at the Keg (after determining that we were both really, really into steak). I really like this guy. He’s cute/hot, well dressed & groomed, interesting to talk to and makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.

We had a really fantastic lunch together with wine & red meat. Mmmm. Well, as it turns out, we both share a passion for food and cooking, hosting, entertaining, etc. among other things. Somehow we got talking about BBQ and we invited each other over to our places “whenever we have our next BBQ”. I know Wolf is single, and bff has verified that he’s not gay (For some reason I am attracted to a lot of gay guys… must be the good hygiene!) so I’m starting to wonder where this is going.

He decides to add me to facebook right away via his phone at the table. Woohoo!

We finish our lunch (even though I can tell that neither of us wants to!) and head back to work. Later that day I got a message from him on Facebook:

Subject: Dinner Photos


“Hey Ginger,


After talking food this aft, I remembered reading about people who take photos of their meals and blog about them and I always wanted to do it.

If you’re up for it, I was hoping we could trade meal pics and descriptions. I’m a little nervous by the thought of it but I think’d be fun.

Let me know your thoughts.


Ok blogging friends, what do you think of this? Is it even worth reading into? At this point I can’t tell if he really just wants to talk to someone about food because it’s interesting; or if he’s into me and wants a reason to stay in contact; or if maybe he just has a fat girl+food fetish.

I reply back saying that it sounds kinda funny but cool and mention that I’ve heard of this before (duh, I sort of do this already on here!). I tell him I’m sending over my crockpot lasagna recipe & photos and do so, but through his hotmail address.

And then I never hear back.


Maybe I can excuse this behaviour? His company was throwing a huge party the following Thursday, and I’m sure that he was involved in making it happen in addition to his other client service stuff during the week. Perhaps that is why I never got a response via email or FB?

The good news is  that I was invited to that party, so of course I fantasized about seeing him all week… *sigh*

I enlisted the help of my bff and we stormed that party in all our hotness. After a few rounds at the bar I finally located Wolf and got a chance to talk/shout over the music with him. Bff graciously left us alone (well, as alone as you can get in a club). He said that his phone was acting up this week and that is his normal method of accessing FB, hence the lack of reply. I didn’t remember at the time to ask him why he didn’t reply to my old-fashioned email instead…

Anyway, I was a little drunk and A LOT touchy-feely that night. So I touched him. Yup, I actually crossed that self-imposed line! I reached out and touched someone! OMG his skin is SO SOFT. I just wanted to rub/lick/do naughty things to it all night. But we’re technically at a work party, so that was out of the question. Plus, I still don’t really know if he’s into me or not. We talk, and I re-invite him to this awesome Alice in Wonderland themed party I’m going to next week (this week) and he says he’ll come as the Mad Hatter!!! I’m so excited.

I can’t really remember what else we talked about, but I was able to casually bump arms and stuff with him throughout our conversation, which is pretty good for me since I’m usually anti-touch by default. Progress!

Anyway, a bunch of other stuff happened (took a bunch of photos with him at the photo booth, some VERY questionable in content!) but what it all boils down to is that I still don’t know if he is into me or not. He was a little drunk, trying to schmooze with everyone (it’s his job), performing his sales rep duties, and my bff thinks that he was a little geeky & awkward, so maybe that’s why he wasn’t reciprocating towards me? I’ve talked about the difficulties of  sales rep/client relationships before.

He didn’t pull away from my touches, but he didn’t really touch me back. Is that bad?

Anyway, I haven’t heard from him since the party. I am assuming that he’ll be coming out this Friday but wonder if I should follow up with him or not. I really DO want him to come because I think it will be a great time and a chance for us to get to know one another outside of work. Plus, I can tell him that I’m leaving the industry. That will be the real litmus test. If he’s actually into me, it should make it easier for him since there are no business lines to cross anymore. On the other hand, if he was only flirting with me to get my money, his attentions will abruptly drop off.

So yeah. A nice, big, complicated story. My friends and I have no idea what to make of him for now. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, but it felt like something might have been there. Once I leave the industry things might make more sense (compared to Mr. Darcy) since Wolf is single, my age and into similar things. I also think he is secretly a geek masquerading as a hot dude. But I’m ok with that. I’m sort of doing the same thing, or trying to!

Whew. This got really long. I’ll have to tell you about Bachelor #3 tomorrow… maybe after my date with him!!

*leaves you hanging*

4 thoughts on “He’s just not that into me?”

  1. LOL thanks for the offer! I have him as a friend on there now though, so I have definitely done all the creeping possible!

    He's actually not very active on there to begin with. Not a huge friends list or lots of photos or anything. This may be a good thing… it means that he doesn't add *everyone* to FB, only the people he really likes.

    At least that's how I do it…

  2. If he was at a party situation, he may not have reciprocated because there'd be a lot of eyes on him and that would be a big faux pas.

    If you want to get a feel for him, I would suggest a one-on-one date setting. It's hard to read people in large social setting because there are external pressures that cause them to act differently. It may take some time to feel him out …errr, I mean, see who he really is. Good luck!

  3. Wolf could be promising, but like EllieDi said, try not to read too much into anything and also you can't second guess his motives for things. Pretty neat that he is cool about go to another party with you though. I would say that will be a big test right there! Considering he isn't really going to know anyone else there, and it isn't involving his job so there will be no schmoozing other people.

    I also read about Bachelor #3 on the next post. I say go out on the date with him and see what happens. It is scary meeting someone from the internet, but like you said, good practice. That is how I used to look at it when I met guys from the web. Some were nice, some were creeps, some were trying to smooch up on me when it was totally uncalled for…. you just never know what you are going to get! but you also wont get anything unless you try.

    Good luck with it all. Dating and meeting men can be a real stinker sometimes!

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