This Ginger is about to snap

Man, there has been a lot going on since I last updated. Oh well.

The biggest thing eating me right now is that I am once again without a job. It’s like a frigging roller coaster over here, either famine or feast. I can’t seem to figure out exactly what it is I want to do in life, other than be my own boss. There isn’t a lot of mercy for people like me.

I started working for this property “management” place for a while. Got my first promotion ever, bought a scooter (finally!) to help do showings, and I just left on Monday, only 4 months into the job. What a ride. Glad I am out of there though, it really just wasn’t working. At all. Shit money, shit hours and I was stressed to the max.

I never really learn my lesson, do I? I jump at the first opportunity that comes along and try to make a quick buck. Things I look down upon in other people, and yet here I am. Ms. Hypocrite, you may call me!

I am still working on my other projects and some are going better than others. But I still feel like a failure in the major areas of life. Still single, still no full time self-employment, haven’t traveled in a while, haven’t lost much weight, didn’t make it on the roller derby team this season.

Pooh, I say. Damn depression is back and has sunk itself in deep this time, insidious little bastard.

There are good things in my life, but it’s hard to appreciate them when you’re forced to view them through grey-tinted glasses.

If anyone is out there, how do you deal with constant disappointment? Especially when it’s yourself that you’re disappointing the most?

6 thoughts on “This Ginger is about to snap”

  1. Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. There are never any quick answers when you're feeling depressed, but having read your blog for a long while, you always land on your feet, and I am confident you will this time too. Take care of yourself. Thinking positive thoughts for you.

  2. Sorry about the job but it sounds like it wasn't working and you werent happy. I think you know the problem stop just taking jobs for the sake of taking them. Have a plan! If you have to work job you don't want at least have a reason like you are saving up to start your own biz or something. Write down what your goals are and work towards those goals. Be positive but have action behind it as well.

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